Left Behind: The Movie (2000)

Never before has a mere PG-13 film ever succeeded in insulting a wider range of people. Any Christian who doesn't believe in the Rapture will see their beliefs proved conclusively wrong; anyone of any other faith will be consigned to irrelevance, unless they're one of those useful, prophecy-fulfilling Jews; humanists will lament as every single person mopes around in utter uselessness, or proves ineffective without the truth of scripture; the nations of the world will look on as events are dictated to them by the U.N., or they are said to make idiotic political decisions merely to advance the plot (apparently South Korea adopts the Euro!); movie-goers will be treated to the most boring and underwhelming apocalyptic scenario ever committed to film, poor acting, and plot elements thrown at a wall, just to see what sticks; and finally, any decent person will see those like them (as I can't see a thing wrong with most of the main cast, bar the cheating husband) have their lives destroyed on what is, at heart, a minor misdemeanour. Surprisingly, I didn't hate Kirk Cameron as much as I thought I might, but he still only shines out from the lacklustre performances of the rest of the cast. In an attempt to find something positive about the film, I'll admit that their Antichrist is fairly sinister, although it is somewhat unusual to see a skinnier version of Daniel Craig's Bond performing Jedi mind-tricks on U.N. delegates. And as a kicker, this film has one of the most repellant "broken Aesops" I have ever seen; when faced with an evil beyond imagination, that threatens the entire world, immediately stop fighting and trust to faith that somehow things will be alright. I'm not trying to belittle faith, but surely some kind of action is called for? Faith seems like more of a last resort, when all else has failed. They don't ever try fighting back against the Big Bad. No, we petty humans are just to lie down and hope that something comes along to save us. But then, what else is to be expected from evangelical Christian science fiction? Well worth avoiding.


The Rapture: Whites Only (Evidently...)