Gojira tai Megagirasu Jī Shōmetsu Sakusen / Godzilla vs. Megaguirus (2000)

This is probably the least assuming of the Millennium-era Godzilla films (with the possible exception of Godzilla 2000), given that it stands alongside the a Mechagodzilla double-bill, a return to the terrifyingly malevolent Godzilla of 1954, and a 50th Anniversary daikaiju extravaganza. Sadly, it never really finds its feet, and, in my humble opinion, stands as the weakest of the Millennium-era. Alternatively titled Godzilla vs. Physics, the enemy this time around is Megaguirus, an enormous prehistoric dragonfly, and the deus ex machina weapon designed by the ridiculously named anti-Godzilla force, the G-Graspers, the Dimension Tide, an orbital cannon that fires miniaturised black holes. I'm willing to accept that monsters can exist despite simple gravity being a risk to their organs, that the Absolute Zero Cannon could cool something until its molecules stop moving, or that electrocution can impart Magneto-like powers of magnetism, but this is a bridge too far. Black holes are not controllable, and, by simple merit of existing, only get bigger as they consume more. And this isn't the end of the science blunders, as evidenced by the apparently stable wormhole which is created then never mentioned again, a high frequency sound coming from a few hundred metres above the ground affecting an orbiting satellite and one egg becoming hundreds with exactly no explanation. While I like the idea of a swarm of monsters, and also like the design of the demonic Megaguirus, the execution is terrible, with a boring monster battle and a strange attempt to do a bug's-eye-view by cutting frames. It just looks like the DVD is skipping. While it has some good points, these aren't enough to overshadow the negative, and the viewer's suspension of disbelief, already stretched by the premise of any monster movie, is over-extended to the point where it just collapses.


Black holes do not work that way! Goodnight!