Battle: Los Angeles (2011)

If you attempted to make Independence Day in the real world, as opposed to whatever over-compensating, disaster-prone reality that Roland Emmerich inhabits, it might look a little something like this. However, this threatens to rob the film of the greatest advantages of Independence Day, namely the spectacular special effects shots. While Battle: LA is not devoid of special effects, they are more akin to District 9, opting for more gritty realism. However, effects aside, if there is a word to describe this film, it is simply "safe". Not a single original risk is taken with this production; it is a supremely cliched alien invasion story populated entirely by the stock marines we have come to expect. We have our unambiguously evil alien invaders. They have superior, if not insurmountable, technological capabilities. Their objective is the theft of our natural resources, in this case our water. As for the marines, Handsome-Leading-Man, Out-Of-His-Depth-Young-C.O., Ethnic Minorities #1, #2 and #3, Rookie, Cocky-Guy, and Michelle Rodriguez (who is, in herself, a stereotype). The unoriginality is the main obstacle to be overcome, as if you just want a basic, no-frills action film about an alien invasion, this will do. Those who would prefer something they haven't seen dozens of times before are going to be sorely disappointed. If you've seen a few movies in your time, then there are no prizes for guessing every plot-twist, as they're sign-posted from miles away. Add a dash of uninspiring design on both the aliens and their technology, and the finished product is a film that will likely entertained as you're watching it, but which quickly becomes more disappointing the more it is contemplated. If you want realistic aliens, stick with District 9 or the original Day The Earth Stood Still; if you don't, you can't go wrong with Mars Attacks or Emmerich's Mac-vulnerable extraterrestrials.

Would marines have even been necessary if these guys made up the welcome wagon?

Zeitgeist: The Movie, Zeitgeist: Addendum, Zeitgeist: Moving Forward (2007, 2008, 2011)

I could write an incredible diatribe against these three films, particularly the first but also the second and third. The first is a veritable maelstrom of misinformation, blind conjecture and outright lies. A ridiculous attempt to tie an inaccurate account of the origins of the Christian faith to demonstrably false conspiracy theories about the 9/11 atrocities, all in order to blame the faceless and omnipotent "corporate bankers" that seem to be the source of all the world's ills. Films two and three dial down the insanity and, while retaining the crackpot economic theories, focus on the Venus Project, the brainchild of "social engineer" Jacque Fresco. It's a Roddenberryian view of the future, and while it has alot of merits, not least its emphasis on throwing resources into scientific advancement and betterment, it a rosy-tinted view, throwing imaginary technology at the various problems facing the world, and, in my humble opinion, over-stating the viability of alternative energy sources. In particular, the second film lauds geothermal power as a complete solution to the energy crisis, while failing to mention it's tremendous output of greenhouse gases. There simply are no easy fixes in the world, there are only possibilities. It will take more than a factually dubious "documentary" film to make any difference, and I personally think that the Zeitgest Movement resulting from these productions is an idealistic, short-sighted, scientifically-uninformed and credulous waste of time which might be put to far better use.


9/11 conspiracy? Does this look like Lex Luthor to you?

Season of the Witch (2011)

This film has the distinction of being the first I saw this year, and sadly the experience was hardly a memorable one. After enjoying both the lead actors (Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman) take on roles where, while badly written, were highly enjoyable due to their performance, the quiet and sober performances they give in this film are bland and forgettable. Not using Nic Cage to his full and lunatic potential should be considered a capital offence. Accents change with gay abandon, and the film never quite loses the air that it doesn't have a clue where all this action is supposed to be taking place. The movie is undermined, as that the film establishes in its opening scene that the titular witches are very real, and that the church is right to be killing women to defend the populace. Hence, all the succeeding moments where the priest is demonised for wanting to do away with the young woman accused of witchcraft are ridiculous, and make our main characters look like fools. But the biggest kicker of the entire film is that Season of the Witch has no witches in it! Pardon spoilers, but the main witch isn't a witch, but rather a girl possessed by a demon, granting her her supernatural abilities. The witches we see at the start seem to have the same powers and appearance, suggesting that they too were possessed. Hence, there are no witches in Season of the Witch, though there are both demons, man-eating wolves and monk zombies. Such stereotypical zombies that it is even explicitly stated in the film that the only way to kill them is to remove the head. Hardly a terrible film, but suffers from errors of pacing, casting and titling.


These are not interchangeable!